Letting Go

Eva (U.K.)

From a 'mindfulness' walk this morning, I brought dried and alive flowers, small stones and dried mud with me to assemble them on my improvised working table. Unfortunately, I must have lost the dried mud, my initial found object, and finished the assemblage with my dirty and knotted earplugs.The nod and the mix of dried and green leaves and flowers go well, re-conceptualising my funding proposal. I still feel the nod- I am imprisoned in the initial proposal's ideas, not knowing how it goes forward. I can see thorny blooms' growing' between pebbles, and I can also see different sorts of flowers flowing up and down the assemblage, interweaving with each other to become something new. One stream is dried out, the other is half-dry, half-green, and at the top, I see a blossom emerging from a thistle plant.

The assemblage helps me to let go of things in my initial funding proposal: letting go of the complex theoretical framing, letting go of one of the sample universities to which I felt emotionally attached, and letting go of the far-reaching research questions. But letting go for what? I don't know yet… However, I feel the need to create space for letting in something new.

In that way, my mindfulness walk was also a generative writingfulness walk.